I am not that parent.
Yes...I like school. Yes...I like the structure that comes when school is in session. Yes...even my kids like school.
But, I always have a bit of sadness that our laid-back, easy going, sleeping in - staying up late days are over for 9 months.
Several years ago, I was a home-schooling mom and I loved that! I love home-schooling, I love the time I spent with Eleanor, Harry and Isabel as I learned things right along side them (thank you Tapestry of Grace!). But, God clearly called us out of that season and I am grateful for how He has continued to clearly lead us and our choices in education.
But because of those home-schooling days, every year around this time, I feel squeamish in my stomach because I desperately want to home-school my children again. I long to set up a home classroom and look for yummy breakfast recipes and write out lesson plans. I want those quiet mornings of my children waking up on their own (no noisy alarms) and give them the freedom to do work when they want to. And I simply do not look forward to having to say goodbye in a car line and then send them off into the "world" for 8 hours...8 hours in which I have no influence or no say or no guidance in their lives.
Why do I send them all to public school now? Well, there is a complicated answer to that question. The best answer I can give it two fold: 1) God led our family to this decision and 2) the kids all WANT to go to public school. In all honesty, my older kids are learning WAY more than I would have been able to teach them. And with George's special needs, I have determined there is NO WAY I could teach him (I tried - many times - and every time, I fail miserably). I still struggle with the wasted time in the elementary grades - but, they little ones are very happy and ARE learning - so we just go with that. I don't want to make this decision more complicated than it needs to be - they are learning, they are enjoying school, mom and dad are happy with that - so we send them to school.
But, fear starts to grip my heart. I liked our little bubble we had created. And frankly, I love being a mom - so why wouldn't I want to have my children with me...every day...all day?
I like the summer. I can hang out with my kids at the pool for hours. I can let them stay up late with me to watch who won Food Netw*rk's Next Great Star (shout out to Lenny -we all wanted him to win!). We can hang a sheet in our backyard and have a late-night "sit in" and watch funny movies.
We can drive the beach and play in the water for hours catching waves on our boogie boards.
In fact, we had an amazing summer this year!
Fall comes around and all of that changes. Suddenly we are a wound a bit tighter; we have places to be and things to get done every.single.day. Our schedules have to be coordinated because I have this one to pick up here and that one to be dropped off there and those two driving home late every.single.day. I have lunches that need to be packed and homework that needs to be done while we wait in car-line and snacks that need to be provided and projects that need tri-fold display boards and printed out graphics and zip drives loaded. I have 27 emails in my in-box each and every day from teachers. I have 6 automated phone messages on my phone as well. I am asked to send in box tops, sign up for lunch relief, pick up a new calculator, purchase gym clothes, send in food for the band boosters, and make sure I have signed all the forms.
So, I LOVE summer.
But, I also like when my kids are back in school.
It means Friday night football games at the high school - watching my daughter have fun with her classmates as they cheer their team on.
Those same nights, I get to see my son march in the marching band and turn up as they lead the crowd in crazy dance-circles (or something like that!).
It also means volleyball games and more football games and sweet times of driving my kids to school where we can talk each morning and I can encourage them as they start their day....and we can talk each afternoon as we re-cap the highlights. Back to school means I get uber organized - finding new crock-pot recipes so that dinner is ready when we need to eat early because of games, my homework tub is stocked and ready in the car so that the kids can get their homework done in a timely manner, and my calendar is loaded with activities and reminders so that we (hopefully) don't miss anything. (But, don't kid yourself, I inevitably miss something each year - last year I missed a volleyball game - and I WAS THE COACH!!)
We have a big year this year....Eleanor is a SENIOR!
I can't even begin to explain the emotions swirled together in that one statement. I am so excited for her...but I am so sad for myself. I just want more time with her, but I am thrilled to launch her out and watch her make her own decisions!
George is going to middle school...I am terrified and on my knees daily over this one. He was diagnosed with a significant learning disability and will be in a self-contained classroom for the first time. He is nervous, scared, excited and I am just petrified. School is so hard for George. He lacks in social skills greatly - as emotionally he is more like a 5 year old than an 11 year old. Not to mention how difficult the academics are!! He is going into 6th grade but performing at the 2nd grade level. My prayer is that these middle school years in the self-contained classroom are GOOD for him - and I pray that God will be WITH him each and every second of the day.
As for the other four - Lincoln and Anna will be the only ones in elementary school - which may actually give me some days to volunteer there! They are moving to the "big side" of the school (the K-2 kids are all on one side of the school, while the 3-5 kids cross over to the other side). Lincoln is nervous about this crossing over.
Isabel will be in 7th grade at her IB school and has sights on "ruling" the school again.
Harry will be a 10th grader at his IB school (and by the way, that 14 year old son of mine is now 6 feet tall!).
God has blessed me with 6 amazing, talented, funny, loving children...and I love being their momma. Now, I pray over them and send them out into the "world" for 8 hours a day and trust that God goes with them. It is a bittersweet time for me each fall as I realize another summer is over.