Monday, July 21, 2014

Christ is Enough

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy developed by Francine Shapiro that emphasizes disturbing memories as the cause of psychopathology and alleviates the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Neurodevelopmental Healing This comprehensive approach allows children and adults to address the root cause of their concerns. It requires commitment and dedication to complete a program of neurological reorganization. Once you have completed it, the person should be free to live the fullest possible life. Most of the families we see have tried several modalities with little to no lasting change. We specialize in unlocking the potential in all individuals, including the most challenging children.

Trust-Based Relational Interventions® (TBRI®) is an emerging intervention model for a wide range of childhood behavioral problems. It has been applied successfully in a variety of contexts, and with many children for whom numerous other interventions have failed (e.g., medications, cognitive-behavioral therapies.) TBRI® is based on a solid foundation of neuropsychological theory and research, tempered by humanitarian principles. It is a family-based intervention that is designed for children who have experienced relationship-based traumas such as institutionalization, multiple foster placements, maltreatment, and/or neglect. For the past ten years, Drs. Purvis and Cross have been implementing and evaluating TBRI® , and their strategies have proven extremely effective in creating healing environments for children who have come from “hard places.”

When using Neurofeedback training, the person has electrodes placed on his head and ears. The electrodes are simply reading the brain waves as is done with any EEG test, relaying to the computer the level of the brainwaves: Delta, theta, beta waves, and SMR (sensory motor rhythms). After having the electrodes placed on his head, the subject plays computer games.

Are you as confused as I am?  

When you suddenly find yourself in the world of parenting a child from a broken place or a hard place, you can literally drown in all the advice.  I know I have written before about how I read all I could from one particular leader in the area of parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder...and then read all I could from another leader who holds opposite views.  Then, I watched all the videos from another leader in the area....and now new therapies and treatments are being talked about on every support group webpage I am involved in.  

I am so confused!!!  

Do I put electrodes on George's head or do I put him in a "time-in"?  

Do I put bandages on every cut and scrape or do I send him to therapy once a week to dive into the deepest recesses of his memory?  

Do I find a horse for George to bond with or do I take everything out of his room when he has a blow up?  And what about essential oils?  

I am getting told constantly to try essential oils and to throw away the ADHD medication (by people who do not live with George - mind you).  

I realized long ago that I can not parent George the same way I parent any of my other children - including Anna (who also comes from a hard place).  But all the advice is NOT helping at all.  It makes me feel guilty.  It makes me feel like a failure.  It makes me cry into my pillow full of shame.

Every time I get to this place of being completely overwhelmed by all that I am doing wrong because I am not doing the latest, greatest therapy...I cry out to God.

And He tells me the same thing every time.


And so, a calm washes over me...and God shows me that we ARE making progress and we ARE making connections and we ARE bonding.  And yes, God shows me that we have an incredibly challenging son.  But He reminds me that He placed George intentionally in my life for MY benefit.

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Suffering produces perseverance....yes, we have had to persevere for over 5 years now.  I used to think, "Get me through one year and it will be better."  "OK - how about 2 years and every thing will be better."  It was around year 4 that I realized, this may never get to where I want it to be - and I am OK with that.  I will chose to persevere.

Perseverance leads to character...I often say I like who I am so much better now than who I was 6 years ago!  Having George in my life has HUMBLED me greatly!  I know how much I screw up.  I know how hard my heart can be.  I know where my strength comes from and I know it is not something I do on my own.  I have more compassion for others because of George and I am far less judgmental.  So, I guess I have to take my lumps in order to see my character begin to change.

Character leads to hope...Because of the humility God taught me, I have HOPE that I will make it.  There were dark days when I thought I would NOT make it through another day living with such pain in my heart.  But, I now have hope that God will deliver me, that He will sustain me, that He will give me what I need each day to love and parent ALL my children.  

And Hope does not put us to shame....that shame I feel every time I read the latest blog post or FB entry about therapies and essential oils and ideas, I fight the shame that wants to surge and instead have HOPE in the Lord.  

Then, look at the last part of that verse...God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit....THAT is the key to my life!  I know I can't "cure" George.  I know I can't "fix" George.  What I do know is that God has called me to LOVE George.  But friends, there are so many days when I CAN'T love George!  That is when I KNOW that it is God who is loving George.  It is God's love that that Holy Spirit is pouring into my life that enables me to show love...again.  

I am not discounting all the therapies and strategies and oils!  Please do not hear me saying that!  I celebrate with those parents who report huge breakthroughs and successes!  But every time I seek God's will....He reminds me that He is enough for me.  

"Christ Is Enough"

Christ is my reward
And all of my devotion
Now there's nothing in this world
That could ever satisfy

Through every trial
My soul will sing
No turning back
I've been set free

Christ is enough for me
Christ is enough for me
Everything I need is in You
Everything I need

Christ my all in all
The joy of my salvation
And this hope will never fail
Heaven is our home

Through every storm
My soul will sing
Jesus is here
To God be the glory

I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back
No turning back

The cross before me
The world behind me
No turning back
No turning back

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