Monday, August 19, 2013

Taking a Break...Wondering What is Next

I am taking a break.

I officially have gone on sabbatical from S*fe F*amilies for the remainder of the year.  So many have asked over the past two years, "How do you do it all?"

The answer is clearly...I can't.

And this is not a pity party - this is harsh reality.  I can not be a wife, mom to 6 (two with special needs), and run a full time ministry that serves the broken hearted.  I wish I could do it all.  Unfortunately, I can't and I was fearing that my CHILDREN were going to be the ones who would pay the price for ministry.  I am positive God does not want that to happen, for He has blessed me beyond measure with these six amazing souls!

My children are only with me for a short time - that has become so clear to me as my oldest is entering her junior year of high school, driving, working and slowly but surely spending more time OUT of the house than IN the house.

I refuse to wax eloquent about where is the little girl in pigtails who used to snuggle up with me on a rainy day to read Little House on the Prairie?  But honestly, the time HAS flown by.

So, I have decided that I have done exactly what God gave me the ability and the strength to do...start the ministry here in SC.  He clearly called me to do that in WI as well.  I remember after we found out the bill would pass and would eventually be signed into law by Governor Sc*tt W*alker, I felt this sense of completion..that I had done the work God prepared in advance for me to do.  At that same time, we had lost our business and were crying out to God about where He would lead us next.  He lead us here...and then I had the opportunity to do something here.

I can't fight the feeling again of completion - and that it is time to pass this on.  THAT is not as easy this time...so I am still praying through that.  I am planning on keeping a finger in the ministry even on my sabbatical - and I am planning on stepping back in the first of the year- UNLESS God provides someone and tells me that I am done.

And..in a weird way...God is leading our whole family into a "What's next?" type of attitude.

Joe can NOT continue working like this...always away from the family.  So, not sure what is around the corner, but both Joe and I have felt God press upon our hearts that a season is about to change and we MUST lean into the vine more intently now than ever.  So, we are studying I Peter together - spending Saturday or Sunday nights diving into God's word and praying with another couple who finds themselves in a similar place.

I don't think I could hear from God if I kept at the pace I was running.  Now, I am quieting my soul and waiting upon the Lord wondering what is next.


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