Thursday, September 13, 2012

Wishes

I have been the worst blog writer lately!

There...I got that out of the way.

Life has been so busy.  First of all the children are all doing great in school.  All six went back to school seamlessly and beautifully.  We are falling into our fall schedules and enjoying the structure that school brings to our family.  We have gone a few wonderful hikes in the mountains of NC, had a few more outdoor movie nights in our backyard, and enjoyed the amazing weather down here.

Here is George, Lincoln and Anna playing with their good friend, SG.



But the real blog-worthy report is how George is doing.  To put is simply..we are in a sweet spot. 

I realize that only 6 months ago, you could find me daily laying prone on my bedroom floor crying out to God, begging Him to move in George's heart and mind.  And about 4 months ago, Joe and I opened up to our Lifegroup about our struggles with George through many tears.  The group came around us, laying their hands gently on us and prayed eaernestly that God would move.

And now, we are in a sweet spot.  I am so afraid it will become not so sweet - and I am sure we will hit many more bumps for it has happened so many times before, but at least for today, God is giving me a glimpse of what a committed life and relationship with George MAY look like. 

Probably the biggest change in George is his ability to be corrected.  He is no longer yelling out hurtful words that pierce my heart, he is no longer stomping up the stairs and slamming his door, and he is no longer fighting back about everything.  Joe and I have also changed...no longer do I try to spend 10 minutes talking George to death about something, no longer do I LET George argue and fight back.  I have been given real tools for how to parent this child with RAD. 

But what I really want to share is a story from Tuesday. 

The kids and I sat at the dinner table eating our meal of spaghetti...laughing, enjoying sharing stories of our day when Lincoln asked something about what he was like when he was a baby.  Eleanor and Harry started sharing halarious stories of Lincoln sleeping with his bum up in the air or peeing all over dad when he changed his diaper.  The kids were rolling with laughter - including Anna would could not stop giggling.  I noticed George was covering his eyes.  Quietly, he finished dinner and joined all his siblings as they headed out side to enjoy a wonderful late-summer evening. 

I set about doing the dishes when George raced back into the house, tears streaming down his cheeks.  I met him at the back door and just opened up my arms not knowing what he would do.

He fell into them and wrapped his skinny arms around my waist.

And he cried.

And he said, "Oh momma....I wish I would have been your baby."

My heart broke and I simply wrapped my arms tightly around him and kissed his head and told him that I wished that as well.

"I miss my Africa mommy so much....why did she have to leave me....why did she take me to the orphanage..the orphanage was not a good place....I don't understand...and I wish I would have been in your belly and you were my momma from the very beginning...and I don't know how I can love two moms!"

I told him he could love us both the way I love all my children.  I told him it is possible to love us both and I will not be upset if he loves his Africa mommy with all his heart for the rest of her life.  I told him I love her for giving you life and making sure you were given a chance to be adopted. 

And then, I told him what I want him to hear every time he starts to mourn....Jesus was with you. "In that moment when your mommy walked away...Jesus was holding your hand.  In those nights were you were terrified in the orphanage...Jesus was guarding your bed.   In those moments you were unsure of your new family in this new country...Jesus was wrapping his arms around you and loving you."

I wiped away George's tears and he let me hold him a few more minutes as we stood in the kitchen. 

He eventually sighed, smiled up at me and said, "I love you." 

Then as quickly as he came in, he ran out the door and started playing with his brothers and sisters.




I wish there was no pain in adoption.  I wish there was no loss in adoption - but by nature there is HUGE loss and GREAT pain.  But, as I watched George skip across the back yard, laughing and batting around a huge beach ball, I was reassured once again...that this has all been worth it.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

HOPE!

I have realized that many adoptive and foster moms are in need of encouragement!  My friend just wrote a book that is sure to fill your hearts with peace and comfort.  Order a copy of  31 Nuggets of Hope....

And....check out the t-shirts!  They are so cool - I really love the colors and the long-sleve ones :)



Check out the ordering page here..    http://www.31nuggetsofhope.com/ordering.html