Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Restless

I am obsessed with the new Sw*tchfoot album! I got it for Harry as a Christmas gift and haven't been able to get it out of his CD play until last week to finally listen to it for myself. Immediately, the words to almost every song resonated within my soul. J#hn F#reman MUST be around my age..I'll have to look that up, but something has happened as I have settled into my fourth decade on this earth: a sense of restlessness.

You can watch it here....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFlScJ32_qw&feature=related

They sing:

I am the sea on a moonless night
Calling falling, slipping tides
I am the leaky, dripping pipes
The endless, aching drops of lights

I am the raindrop falling down
Always longing for the deeper ground
I am the broken, breaking seas

Even my blood finds ways to bleed
Even the rivers ways to run
Even the rain to reach the sun
Even my thirsty streams
Even in my dreams

I am restless
I am restless
I am breathless
I’m looking for you
I am restless
I run like the ocean to find your shore
I’m looking for you

Running for the other side
The world that I’ve always been denied
I’m running for the infinite
With the tears of saints and hypocrites

Oh, blood of black and white and grey
Oh, death in life and night in day
One by one by one
We let our rivers run
They run restless
Run restless
Drifting and breathless
I’m looking for you

We run restless
We run like the ocean to reach your shore
I’m looking for you

I can hear you breathing
I can feel you leading
More than just a feeling
I can feel you you reaching
Pushing through the ceiling
Till the final healing
Everything completing

Until the sea of glass we meet
At last completed and complete
Where tide and tear and pain subside
And laughter drinks them dry

I’ll be waiting
Anticipating
All that I aim for
What I was made for
With every heartbeat
All of my blood bleeds
Running inside me


Maybe it's that crazy mid-life crisis mumbo-jumbo? But, there really IS something to hitting that "half-way" point (God willing) that has caused me to stop and think about my life. What am I doing here? What has my life been worth over the first part of my life? Have I accomplished anything worth Kingdom value?

And where am I going? What is to come in the second half? Am I going to do MORE Kingdom work?

I have looked around at what I own, what I put value in, what I put my energy toward and I can tell you without doubt...I CAN DO MORE!

I am sick of the American way of life that tells me to make myself comfortable...save up for retirement....put my trust in the my bank account! Sick!

That is NOT the Christian life that I read about in the New Testament! Why have we gone so far from the examples we see in the Bible? And we justify it as "being wise"...but CLEARLY Jesus told us to store up our treasures in heaven!

So, I am restless. So is Joe. Our desire to is to continue this all out battle-filled life, following hard after Jesus and fighting against the desires of our flesh. What does that look like for us?

Adoption?

Mission?

I can tell you we talk about both. I know that may cause a few people in our live to fall off their rockers...but we don't like the rest of the world. Joe and I can't sit back KNOWING there are children all over this world with NO family!

And YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Parenting our adopted children is hard. And YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bringing in broken, hurting children is hard for our biological children.

But where in the world does God say, "Take it easy and live an easy life?" If you can find that in the Bible...please show me...and then maybe I will stop feeling restless.

1 comment:

Andrea Young said...

yay!! i found your blog:) just wanted to say hey:) XOXO, andrea young:)