Thursday, March 8, 2012

Some Things He Says

I hear the following every day from George:

"I hate you!"

"You are not my mom anymore!"

"Brown skinned boys belong with brown skinned moms!"

"I am calling the police on you!"

"When I am 18, I am leaving and never coming to see you again!"

These statements are followed by:

"Are you going to give up on me?"

"Do you wish you had a good boy?"

"Are you really never going to leave me?"

Which is usually followed by:

"I am sorry, Momma, for the way I talked to you."

Saturday night, George wrote on a pink post-it-note:
"I heart you mom" (Well, he didn't write "heart", but he drew a heart and then later told me, "You know that means love, right?"). The note went on to say, "You take kar of me."

Someone asked me today (after saying "good-luck" when I told him George had RAD), "What does George want?"

Good question. I don't know what he wants. Things have become very "bad" around the home. He is trying with all his might to provoke me to anger. I am learning that he is comfortable with the fighting and the anger. It actually feeds the parts of his brain that have been thriving because of his traumatic life. George can't reason...his brain doesn't allow him. George can't think actions and consequences coincide. He simply acts...reacts...survives. So, he wants me to yell, scream, fight, cry, sulk, pout...all of these things make him feel comfortable in a weird way! So, he is pushing every button he possibly can right now.

And I have learned how to NOT react. I stay calm. My favorite line has become, "Too bad, so sad."

And every stinking night I tuck him into bed, kiss his head and tell him I love him.

That is what he NEEDS...not sure about what he wants right now...but I can give him what he NEEDS.

2 comments:

Michaela said...

Hi Traci,
I sometimes get to a point of frustration that I actually ask my kiddos (especially my 15 yr old), "What.do.you.want???" Poor thing, so unfair of me but sometimes...

To me it seems she has No Idea what she wants. It is her fantasy life vs. her fear and anger.

Thank you for this post. It is great to read our stories in others' words.

Amy @ Literacy Launchpad said...

I SO GET this! We are living the same life, sista!