Friday, March 23, 2012

Mourning


Anna is grieving. And my heart breaks each and every time she breaks into uncontrollable sobs. The tears flow down her cheeks non-stop. There is very little I can do to ease her pain right now.
The grieving process is normal and healthy and good. This is new for me because George has never really grieved at all. But Anna feels the pain of missing her mommy so badly, she can't keep it inside anymore. The good news is that she finally feels SAFE and LOVED and is now ABLE to truly mourn.
She will break into these sobs at the most unexpected times. As I was braiding her hair yesterday, as her best friend sat beside her and they watched The Fresh Beat Band, she suddenly broke into tears. I thought it was because of getting her hair braided (she doesn't enjoy it - it takes too long and I pull too tightly), but when I asked her what was going on, she cried, "I miss my Ghana mommy so much....so much it hurts."
I pulled her into my lap and we simply held each other as she continued to weep.
She pulled back and looked at me and stammered, "My mommy loved me so much. She worked so hard for me. She really took care of me."
"I know sweetie! I can tell you were greatly loved and taken care of. Your mommy obviously loved you so, so much."
Anna answers, "When she died, the aunties wouldn't let me see her!"
This is something Anna is completely upset about. She mentions it every time she cries about her Ghana mommy. From what we know, there was not father - no dad ever in the picture for her. But her mom...her mom was Anna's rock. And when Anna's mommy died, Anna was not allowed to see her or say goodbye. We have been told Anna's mom slipped and hit her head and died. There is also a conflicting report that she died of complications to obesity. Anna insists that her mommy hit her head and was carried into a room. There, Anna begged to be let in to see her mommy and was not allowed in.
That was the last she saw her mommy.
A mommy who lovingly cared for this beauty. A mommy who worked so hard for Anna. A mommy who loved deeply. And Anna never got to say goodbye.
And now, Anna mourns.
She has asked to go back to Ghana. She wants to just say goodbye. She wants me to go with her and see where she lived and find where her mommy is buried. She wants to buy some red flowers because red was her mommy's favorite color.
Oh, my sweet Anna. You are no longer alone. You are loved by another mommy.
I told Anna that Jesus was with her when her mommy died. Jesus was wrapping Anna in His arms and whispering in her ear that she wouldn't be alone for long. And Jesus worked a MIRACLE in bringing sweet Anna into our family!
We were not going to Ghana to adopt...and God moved in huge ways to bring Anna to America. And then, she was led straight into this mommy's open arms. And it's not just me..we ALL love her so deeply.
Jeremiah 31:13 "Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow."

1 comment:

ESolgos said...

Traci, maybe you could have some kind of memorial ceremony for Anna's mom?