Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I Will Bring Praise!

Desert Song

I just got a new CD. A friend "gave" me this song a few years ago. Never in my wildest dreams would I think I would still need it, two years later. But I did. And God knew it. So, I got another gift. I went to buy this at Family Christian Bookstores and found a book I wanted to read. I really could not afford both, but in faith, I decided I needed both. Imagine the shock when the cashier said, "Wow! That book...well, it rang up for $3.00. I guess it was on sale. Big time sale."

I smiled and said, "That's how My God is showing me He still hears me and still loves me."

And as I listened to this song, and let the words soak in, I realized that I can no longer bemoan my circumstances. God did not bless me with George for me to complain. I will bring praise! God created me for this...He decided LONG ago that I would walk through this trial. How I respond to the trial is the key. I do not want to be like the Israelites who wandered for 40 years grumbling and complaining. No...I can't do that to the rest of my family!

I will bring praise. And yes...this is hard...but God saw something in me that gave Him permission to bless me with a very hurting, broken child. It is a gift. I want to KNOW that God is the God who provides! I want to be refined through the fire! I want to STAND on His promises! And I want to SOW the seeds that I have received in my life. So God...I am yours, and I WILL praise you! You are my victory and YOU ARE HERE!

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will


Meliski said...

You are an impressive woman. I feel so blessed to follow this blog. Seriously. I don't think you understand how hard I am cheering you on. I actually held my fists in the air in victory while I read this post.

I know this isn't easy, I don't think you are complaining or anything close to it, I think you are "keeping it real." You are being honest, letting us know that adoption isn't all chubby babies in "chosen" onesies. There is a war being waged, a battle to fight. You are a warrior, fighting for this boy's heart. God wants to break his heart in order to rebuild him and He is using you and your husband to do that. It's not easy, it's war. But some wars need to be fought.

Keep it up, mama. You are firmly in God's grasp.

Simmer Adoption said...

You are such a wonderful mom! This is not your fault! Remember that you also have to think about your other children. If George doesn't improve, moving him to a new home could be the best choice for him. If he was in a home with no other children, he might do better! It's something to consider. It wouldn't be abandoning him, just doing what's best. I'll pray for you!