Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My Life

My life is whizzing by....

We have entered into such a different phase of our lives! We lived so simply and quietly for so many years....and now....it is so different. I am not sure I like it. Although, I am trusting the Lord that there is a reason for this change.

All of this is to teach us something...or prepare us for something...or both. Or maybe, this season is just about giving the kids what they need. I write that and I have to balk...they HAD all the needed. No, they didn't have designer clothes or new shoes or braces...but they had us HOME...all the time....spending TIME together.

Joe and I miss our life back in Wisconsin. It was simple. We had intentionally made it simple.

Now, it's very complicated.

I am mostly a single mom now. And Joe is mourning the loss of his time with us. It hurts him to hear all that we are doing while he is away. Yet, he is happy that the kids are happy.

I miss the role I used to have that was so clear...Mom. Now, most of the week, I am wearing both Mom and Dad hats.

We feel empty at church. We like the church...but...it's different.

We are desperately waiting on the Lord to let us know His plan for us here.

I KNOW He will let us know...and I KNOW His plan often takes longer than we want it to...and I KNOW His plan is a good one.

My dad told Joe that he may now have the opportunity to influence hundreds of lives in this new position. And he does. He is already faced with doing the corporate world different than his peers. Marriages all around him are crumbling. Kids are not talking to their dads. Men spend most of their nights in hotel rooms. Joe is fighting and needs all our prayers. He DOES have an amazing opportunity to reflect the LIGHT of JESUS in a dark world.

As for me? I am not sure what God has in store for me....right now, I have been consumed with helping my children adjust and supporting my husband. I truly feel like a helpmeet these days. I am not focusing on ministry or outside work...just on making my home a refuge for all my loved ones. I have moved Eleanor and Harry to magnet schools and am working with George's teacher daily to make sure he is getting what he needs. Isabel has begged to start playing volleyball - so she started this week. Lincoln and George started soccer. Anna is waiting patiently to start ballet.

And the details of packing lunches, making sure all forms are signed, getting immunizations filled in on the "right" form (crazy SC stuff!!!), writing schedules on the calendar, listening to beginning readers to teenagers ask tough questions...it is all I can do to keep my head above water. I am grateful that the kids are all HAPPY...I mean they really are HAPPY.

So..for them...I lay down my life for this season.

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