Monday, May 16, 2011

My Broken Children

Thursday night we were all gathered in the living room...we have a guilty family pleasure...American Idol. So, we sat around our tiny living room when we all realized just how broken our children from Africa are.

George was very upset about his Africa Mommy. He had been talking about heaven all day. I am not sure why or what prompted the conversations...maybe it was because earlier that morning he announced that he hated God. He did this for my "benefit". He was angry at me - I think because I told him to put his glasses on. When he started pouting and whining about having to do the extremely difficult task of putting his glasses on, I sent him to his bed to "think about how he responded". He thinks he will hit me where it hurts to tell me that he hates God. My answer?

"George, do you remember what God did for you?"

I then talk to him about how much God loved him that he allowed his son to die a painful death on a tree in order to save George (we talk a lot about John 3:16 these days because he has finally memorized it!). He was quiet for a long time. Then he asked me if he would still go to heaven even though he said something he didn't mean (hating God).

Maybe that is what prompted an entire day of thinking and talking about heaven. Whatever the case, he suddenly burst out into sobs asking, "Who is going to be my mommy in heaven? You or my Africa mommy? I don't want to have to chose who to live with."

Then, he cried, "I don't think my Africa mommy knows Jesus! She needs someone to tell her about Jesus."

Oh, how his heart ached for his Africa mommy. We talked for quite a long time as the entire family listened. My older children suddenly were faced with a hurting brother who has to live with such a dilemma like not knowing if his mom is going to heaven. He also opened up and talked about the struggles of life in Ethiopia. He talked about being hungry all the time. He talked about drinking dirty water and having stomach aches. He talked about how he can't remember what his Africa daddy looks like, and how that hurts his heart.

All of our hearts broke knowing how broken George is.

Anna then shared how she watched when her Africa mommy slipped and banged her head "against a rock". She said there was so much blood and her mommy never woke up. Anna talked about an auntie taking her and then before she knew it, she was living in the orphanage. Then, her first adopted mommy didn't want her anymore.

Then Anna, who was sitting in my lap looked up and me and asked, "Where am I going, Mommy?"

"What do you mean, sweetie?"

"Am I going to heaven? I want to go wherever you are going. I don't want to be alone anymore."

We ended our family time not cheering on a favorite singer on AI or arguing over who is sitting on which couch, but instead we formed a circle and prayed over our broken children knowing that God is in the business of restoration and healing.


Natalie said...

My heart just breaks reading this. But, so thankful they are your children and you can help comfort them with your Mommy love and God's Word. I will be praying for comfort and peace in your children's hearts that only comes from Our Lord. What a blessing God has brought them into your family, and that was His plan all along.

Bear Creek Mama said...

Wow! There is a REASON these children are in your family! How perfectly orchestrated are His ways. I can not dream of a better environment for these to "fall" into. One where they are continually surrounded not only by your love, but by His love too, shown through you.
Keep pressing in - You're doing great!