Monday, April 4, 2011

First Day

I know it has been a while since I have updated on how things are going here. The good news is we continue to move forward! The bad news is that we still have bad days...or, actually I should say bad moments. Thank God we have moved to bad moments! I can take bad moments.

We made some serious changes in our life over the past few weeks. Namely, we have expressed to George in very clear terms what behavior is and is not acceptable. When he does something that is not acceptable, I move quickly to address the situation. For George, this usually means a very simple conversation and being removed from the action and being sent to his room. I have learned to NOT shut the door - the goal is for him to NOT feel alone or neglected, but instead to know that what he has done is not acceptable and so he can't interact with us...he can still see us, hear us, and sometimes he even talks to us from his room.

In the beginning of this, he would stay in his room for hours. Now, we are down to minutes. He must do three things in order to "be restored": 1) he must say he is sorry, 2) he must say what he did that was unacceptable and then 3) he needs to tell us what he will do the next time instead of doing what was unacceptable. So, for instance, yesterday went something like this: "Mom, I am sorry. Will you forgive me? I shouldn't have thrown the game across the room. Next time, if I am angry that I couldn't figure out the game, I will come find you and ask for help."

We have also "removed" Joe from the equation a bit. George has bonded well with Joe and looks to Joe for everything. There were many times that George would not listen to my instructions, but when Joe would say the exact same thing, he would jump to action. This has actually happened naturally because Joe is working longer hours and on most Saturdays.

The result? Things are starting to level out! Praise God we are not having the tantrums of the past month and George is being very affectionate and loving toward me. This IS a MARATHON! That needs to be always in my mind - this is not an easy dash to the finish line and then we are done and have it all figured out. No way! This is a grueling, exhausting, gut-wrenching race that test ones endurance and stamina. I tell everyone we are about 1/3 of the way through the marathon - about 8 miles into the race! We have so far to go, but at least we are 8 miles in!

We made the big decision to bring George home and home school him. We used last week's spring break to ease into the idea and the practice of home schooling. It has helped so much to have Eleanor and Harry and Isabel share how much they LOVED home schooling. We had our first day today and it went very well. I am just starting each day in prayer because I have no idea how I am going to do anything these days!

Between simply being a wife to a busy husband, a mom to 5 kids, a woman fighting to get a ministry off the ground and now a home schooling mom - I just have to laugh and say, "No way!" Some people have asked me how am I going to do all of this? My honest answer is, "I have no clue!"

But I will tell you this, God made it clear to me that this is what George needs right now. And today, God reminded me that in order to follow him, I must deny myself....not once in some emotional moment..but DAILY. Deny my wants and my needs and my desires to serve someone else. Every day. I know God is asking me to pour even more into George's life at this moment - and so I am simply obeying. I don't know how it will work out - but I know that God is faithful.

Our first day went well...and just a minute ago, George came running in here to simply wrap his arms around me and give me a hug. And as I look out the window, I see blue skies breaking through the storm clouds. We will get there...I know it!

1 comment:

Bear Creek Mama said...

Amen! to that denial process :)

I love the 'restoration process' you've established. I think that may be in store at my house soon.

Keeping y'all in prayer!