Monday, February 21, 2011

What Do I Do?

Yesterday - another blow up. These are getting old. After things settled down, I was listening as Joe was talking with George in his bedroom.

"I need you to respect your mom," Joe said sternly.

"I don't want to!" George yelled.

That is exactly it. George doesn't want to.

And I am inches away from giving up...throwing in the towel...admitting defeat. Inches.

How can I keep going on this way? How can my heart take anymore abuse? How can George so adamantly refuse to "let go" and begin to bond with me?

I feel myself withdrawing. Feeling numb.

And then, last night, as Isabel and I played a game, George comes to me and asks, "Can I sit on your lap?"

And then he starts playing with my hair, "I love your hair, Momma."

Inside, I want cringe and I want to scream! Inside, I am so angry and disgusted. Inside, I scream at God wondering why He is allowing me to feel such pain.

And on the outside, I smile, I hug George and I tell him "Thank you. I love your hair, too!"

1 comment:

Kurt and Kayla said...

I'm sorry, Traci. I can relate.