Tuesday, October 12, 2010

How Do I Even Explain?

How do I even begin to explain the place Joe and I find ourselves? Unless you are in our hearts and our minds - or maybe a fly on the wall during our multiple conversations - I realize I can't put to words concise enough to tell what is going on.

We were standing outside, watching another amazing sunset when we realized that in August of 2008, while on a beach in New Jersey, we gave God permission to ruin our lives. I don't mean that in a negative way...I mean we gave God permission to ruin, or change, or deconstruct, or flat out destroy our selfish lives. We suddenly opened up the door for God to take over.

It is amazing how that one step of obedience could do so much!

Now, our lives have been turned upside down.

We now are providing a home for an amazing child who had been living on the streets of Chicago - if you would have told me that adopting George would have lead to this, I seriously would have laughed in your face! And now, we are facing the likely scenario of losing our business. Yet, we don't have fear - if you would have told me THAT, I would probably say you were crazy!

We still believe that all of what we are going through right now is because we gave God permission to rule our hearts and our minds. He obviously is not done with us...I just have no clue where He is leading us now.

Going back to a prayer I often recited when I was in the depths of despair the early days of our adoption...give us this day our daily bread...I am reminded that I need not worry about tomorrow and that God is faithful to give me what I need today. I know some may think we have totally lost our minds! We don't look anything like the world around us ! I was just talking to a man who commented on his 401K - I had to giggle inside because I no longer even know what that kind of life is about. We have stopped thinking of retiring someday, and instead Joe and I giggle over what adventure God will put on us as we grow older. We think of buying a VW camper van and traveling the country doing kingdom work while we visit our children and grandchildren. Or maybe, He'll send us to Africa or South America or the DR? I don't know.

Some days, I wish I had the answers. Today, I am totally content to love my God, my husband, my five amazing children, my one Safe Families addition, and my dog.

1 comment:

Kurt and Kayla said...

I totally relate. Nothing has turned out the way we pictured and yet we are anxious to see what He has for us next. It is scary and exciting but definately unpredictable!