Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The Sisterhood of Adoption
Once we adopted, I was instantly installed into the Sisterhood of Adoption. It's kind of like a sorority just for moms who made the decision to bring in a child, love them and care for them as if they had come from our wombs. I have realized that I can't talk to moms who have not adopted about some of the things I feel and experience. It is not their fault, they just don't understand. But, just one word to a member of the sisterhood and there is that nod of recognition or that sigh that says, "Oh, yes...I remember that."
There is something so comfortable about that common ground. Sometimes words don't even need to be spoken. We just "get" each other.
I had the chance to meet some of my sisters last week at the Madison Zoo. It was a sweltering hot day and it was so crowded, but what a day of refreshment it was! For once, I didn't feel like we were being stared at. For once, I wasn't watching out for mean glances or words muttered under one's breath toward George (yes, that happens where I live!).
Instead, there were four families with children adopted from Ethiopia along with children adopted through the foster care system, a child adopted from birth domestically, and plenty of bio children. But as I watched these children interact, there was such understanding and acceptance among them. Eleanor even said on the ride home, "That was so nice! No one thought we were weird for having a big family or for having adopted. Everyone got along and no one asked me stupid questions."
A few days later, standing in the hallway at church, three families who have all adopted came together. In one corner of a hallway three families gathered with children from China, Korea and Ethiopia. Each family now has 5 children, so imagine the scene...so many children...so many colors...so many smiles. One friend had just come home with her son from China. A few words were spoken about the adjustment and that was all that needed to be said. We get it. We've been there.
There is a sisterhood of adoption; something that brings mommas together in this journey. It's just like the sisterhood of motherhood; once you're a mom, you're a member for life. This sorority is just a bit different, but it is just as sweet.
Posted by Traci Weldie at 5:45 AM