Friday, July 30, 2010

Music Camp

OK - I know, I have been a horrible blogger lately! I think it is summer. I also think I am suffering from a serious case of writer's block. Ideas used to pop into my head all the time. Now, I don't have too many thoughts popping into my head other than, "Should we go to the pool at 11:00 or wait until after the break at 2:00?" Seriously, my summer has been full of just hanging out with my kids.

I think of how different that is from last summer. There wasn't a day that went by that didn't find me crying last summer. I was unhappy, yet forcing myself to pretend that I loved George just to get him through it. If I would have let him know how miserable I was...well...I am positive he would not be where he is today. Remember, God sat me down and said, "You must love this boy, like I do...you don't have a choice. Trust me."

So, I trusted God. My human-ness screamed at me to give up, go back, throw it away. But God said, "Hang on, don't quit, continue to love." I realized that God is a God who never gives up, and thankfully, he continues to pour out love on us, even if we don't realize it.

Last summer, I had my first experience with River Valley Alliance Church's Music Camp. It really was my first taste of a Christian community out here. The girls participated. The boys did not. Each morning, as I dropped off the girls, I would take George and Lincoln into the sanctuary where they campers were warming up to worship songs. We would sit there the entire worship time, mainly because I didn't want to go home with George without my girls. Back then, they were the glue that held me together. Eleanor would love me. Isabel would love George. It is just how we made it through a day. George liked the music, so he would sit and listen. He would usually sit a few chairs down from me, not wanting to sit anywhere near his new Momma. I remember wondering if he would ever join the kids in the music camp? Would he ever drop this negative attitude and just enjoy singing and dancing again?

Oh how things have changed in a year! This year, George was there! George wanted to go to music camp. George smiled and sang and danced as he stood on a riser. He especially enjoyed the worship songs because they were songs he has heard many times before. The director made a CD of his songs and we listened to them every day. He was so excited about the concert! He had practiced the choreography with his sisters and brothers in the living room, he sang along to the CD in the car, and he proudly wore his new music camp t-shirt.

Concert time: George sang when he could. He danced when he could get it all together. It was not what one would consider a stellar performance; many songs were song with George struggling to find that one word he knew. He was usually a 1/2 beat behind the motions. This was very hard for George, but he never gave us. He was up there, he was smiling, and he was worshiping Jesus!

1 comment:

Grateful Mom said...

Traci,

I thought I'd introduce myself and share what a blessing and encouragement your blog has been to me. A friend (Barrow Brigade) told me all about you and your beautiful connection! I read through your posts with my jaw on the floor as I read your first many post of when you brought how George and then quickly scrolled to your current posts and was filled with hope and thankfullness for what a year has brought for you and George. God is SO good and your faithfullness to George (and God) are an incredible testimony for those adopting older children! There were tears streaming down my face during the post you more recently made about George accepting Jesus! I just can't say enough about your example and dedication to George! What an AMAZING MOM with incredible selfless faith! THANK YOU for your witness and testimony!