Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Grief


We had a great weekend...a missionary weekend! It is amazing how you can meet someone for only a week and instantly feel like family. That is the case with our friends who are serving with SIM in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. They are on a break, spending several months in the US getting some much needed rest. We felt so fortunate that they squeezed out some time to spend with us.


We enjoyed laughter and we updated each other on what's been going on since we picked up George last April. They were amazed at George, for the boy that played and laughed before them was not the same boy who pouted, screamed and cried in Africa.


On Saturday morning, our friends laid out an abundance of gifts from Ethiopia and let each of our children chose a treasure. George chose a necklace in the shape of Ethiopia and a wooden puzzle. Lincoln and Harry both chose a t-shirt and the girls chose jewellery (hair clips and bracelets).


So, we had a weekend of Ethiopian culture, music, and language. And George was affected.


Saturday night, George fell apart.


George has never talked about his Africa-Mommy. If he ever says anything about her, it is because we asked. This night, he grieved the loss of his mommy. Oh, did he cry. And he let a lot of information just come flooding out..."My Africa-Mommy was so nice to me. She made me breakfast every morning...it was a good breakfast. She was pretty and I didn't want to say goodbye." He sobbed.


I held him and told him over and over again how much his mommy loved him. I told George that I love his mommy.


Then he asked me, "Is she in heaven with my Africa-Daddy?"


I didn't know how to answer. She has AIDS, but I have no idea if she is alive or not. I couldn't answer.


He cried. Then he said, "I want to make my Africa-Mommy a card."


So, we moved to the kitchen table where George poured out his heart into a card for his mom, whom he misses so greatly and still loves with all his heart.


This is what he wrote:


"I love mom. I miss you. I love you. You're a good mom. I like school and I am learning a lot. I miss Dad, too...and mom. Love, George."


He drew a picture of two brown people with big smiles holding hands and wrote "Mom" and "Dad" underneath.


We are going to send his card away and pray that it his Africa-Mommy sees it.

2 comments:

bbhe said...

I've been lurking on your site for a while and have never commented before, but I just had to comment on this post, as I've had this same conversation with our adopted daughter so many times.

That desire to know whether their mother is living or dead is so strong (understandably), and (at least with our daughter), I wonder if part of her needs to hear about the death of her FirstMom in order to get some sort of closure. That way she can fully "commit" to our family without feeling like she's being a traitor to her first family.

Such a tough road for these kids to walk; their resiliency amazes me! Best to you and Georgie and your whole family on this journey.

Katy said...

Oh my goodness. I couldn't help but cry just reading about this. I think of you and George often and pray for you guys. You are such an amazing mom.