Thursday, May 13, 2010

Last Post-Placement Visit

I am sitting in a very quiet house for the moment. All five children are at school. And I am preparing for our last post-placement visit. We are a month late, no big deal. But this should be our last visit to discuss our adoption of George.

Thinking back, I will never forget the first post-placement visit. We had just moved out to the country and George was swimming at the neighbor's pool. He saw our social worker drive up and he raced home to use the bathroom. Trouble is, he didn't make it. So, there I was with my child who just wet himself on the driveway, a puppy barking like crazy, and thinking, "Great! She is going to take this kid away!".

But, the thing about talking with my social worker, is that she always finds a way to ask the questions that cause me to think of all the positives. And sure enough, that afternoon when the interview was done, I realized we had a lot of good things to talk about.

That was 9 months ago. And now, I find myself anxious for that car to pull up the driveway. I have hung some of George's artwork, I dug out some sample writing, and I can't wait for George to read a book to her. I want to tell her, "Everything has changed!"

For, things have really changed. Of course, there are the every-day annoying things that George does. But, I have a new realization of what he is doing now (thank you, Dr. Karyn Purvis!). Kids who have experienced trauma do one of three things: fight, flight or freeze. I had always heard about fight or flight. And we have had our share of flighting. But, generally, Georgie freezes. He puts his head down, gets a nasty scowl on his face and refuses to talk. And let me tell you, that drives me crazy! I would rather have a kid yelling at me (I think) than one who I wonder if he is even "in there". George freezes. Now I know. I don't get mad anymore about it. I try to talk him out of it. But....sigh...he still freezes at some point every day.

But, we are just a family now. A normal family.

I can't wait to tell her that.

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