Friday, April 16, 2010

I Have Struggled About Writing This

I am sure you know what I am talking about...the Russia situation.

After Joe and I heard the news, we simply stared at each other, each one knowing what the other was thinking. I know how the woman felt.

You may hate me for saying that. You may judge me. You may begin to throw stones. But, to be totally honest, there were days that I wished I could go back in time and change things.

That said, in NO WAY to I condone what that woman did. It was heartless, selfish, immature and has potentially hurt thousands of families. She was wrong!

But, I will never throw a stone at her.

I have felt discouraged. I have felt defeated. I have felt at the end of my rope. I have yelled, screamed, stomped around, run away, and cried until I was too exhausted to move. THAT is the reality of my adoption story.

But, I have never given up.

One thing has kept me putting one foot in front of the other....Jesus. He has made all the difference in the world to me. He picks me up off the floor, wipes my tears and encourages me to move on. He loves me with an unconditional, unrelenting love. He reminds me that George is HIS child and that HE loves him more than I can ever imagine. And then He tells me that He has chosen me to be Georgie's momma and that is a privilege and a blessing.

I don't know if this woman had Christ in her life; I would suspect she doesn't. He would have made the difference.

1 comment:

Alicia-Marie Christensen said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. There have been times where even with my own kids I've felt like I can't go on another second...give them a different momma! And now I want another?!?!?! LOL

Praise God that you have not given up and for your honesty that others may relate, feel comforted, and grow from and through your experiences.