Monday, March 1, 2010

Turning A Corner...Cautiously

We are seeming to turn a corner these days...George is really changing...and so are we. In the past week, George has initiated many conversations about wanting to stay with us. As he laid in bed with me yesterday morning before church (one of my regular snuggle times with my kids), he said, "You stay with me forever." That is his way of making sure this is it...we are really a forever family.

Trust is being established as we meet his needs and even meet some of his wants (light-up shoes went a long way to tell him we loved him enough to get what he really wanted). He also said this weekend, "I can eat more and more and more. I can always have more." Interpretation: he is no longer hungry. We have asked him if he was hungry in Ethiopia and he replies, "One eat. One eat a day."

On Saturday morning, George came to me and said, "Africa a bad place. No shoes in Africa. No food in Africa. No school in Africa. I want to stay here." I tried to talk about how Africa is not a bad place and how Momma and Daddy thought is was wonderful! But, to this child, Africa at this point represents painful memories and life seems so much better here.

It is interesting to see how he is changing. For so long, I was threatened with daily shouts of how Georgie wanted to go back to Africa (he still doesn't say Ethiopia - where he is from is Africa). He would see pictures, videos or people from Africa and he would march out into the front yard and "wait" for someone to take him back. That is gone.

Oh, how much loss is wrapped up in adoption. At first, he lost his father. Then, he lost his mother. Then, he loses all he knows, his friends, his food, his weather. Then, he is faced with a healthy loss of that culture and people he loved as he tries to bond with his new family and his new culture. Either way, George loses something meaningful and good.

I think he is saying Africa is bad in order to protect his heart from this new round of great loss. I know at the same time, this is a positive step, a turning of a corner as we forge a genuine bond as a family. I had no idea it would take close to a year to even get near this point!

I have so much hope.

1 comment:

Shelly said...

Thank you Jesus! What a joyous post to read and I am guessing to write!