Monday, March 22, 2010

Needing a Break

I am part of a message board (isn't everyone who has adopted???). I find it so interesting that some other moms who adopted around the same time we did are experiencing so many of the same things in our older children.

Lying....that about tops the list. Negative attitude. The use of the words "always" and "never" used inappropriately ( I NEVER let you eat a snack?). The "baby cry" when the word no is heard. The mean, mean words when something doesn't go his way.

I am trying hard to not respond to the negative behavior. I have taken the stance of ignoring the behavior and it seems to work the best these days. If George wants to lie, whine, pout...he can go do that in his room all by himself. No one else wants to see it or hear it anymore. We are tired of the act.

Most days this method works well. It is like George is that 3 year old that pouts and whines at every turn. I have to remind myself to treat him like a 3 year old sometimes. Time-outs and loses of privileges work. But every now and then, I snap. I used to never snap. I am truly worn down from a year of whining and I fail to see the bigger picture some days.

Some days, George can say nothing nice or positive. He just stomps around the house in a sour mood. On those days, we talk a lot about how George is in control of himself. He can chose to make good decisions. He has the ability to decide to be happy. It never turns around right away, but I have become so used to George walking up to me, wrapping his arms around me and saying, "I am happy now."

I have to be honest, sometimes I get so irritated with that phrase. I want to say, "Oh - OK, so you've been a little terror to everyone for the past 4 hours, but now you've decided you are happy and we have to just drop everything and be happy with you!" But, that is exactly what we are called to do. Drop all our hurt feelings, our frustrations and our disappointments and be happy with George.

We continue to ride the roller coaster. Good weeks, great days, and then really bad weeks and horrible days. We are on the down side this week. I realize we are one month away from hitting that ONE YEAR mark. Yea - we have almost made it to one year!!! Maybe subconsciously, George is angry again, hurting again, confused again. Or maybe this is just the cycle of adoption; good followed by bad followed by good.

So, back to the board. Some other momma's are tired like me. Some experienced momma's suggested doing something out of the normal, get away together, change things up. And so...we are going to do just that. I am a bit nervous about leaving home for a week for the first time. Will George revert to old behavior? Will he be mean and nasty to new my family when he meets them? Will I be so stressed out that I can't relax at all?

Prayer. That is the answer here. I pray that this break from our routine will be a good one. I pray that the memories we make as a family will be good ones. I pray for laughter, fun, and good times. I pray that the enemy's tactics in George will disappear - no whining, no pouting, no mean words on this trip!

I think we all could use a break.

1 comment:

The Peyton Family said...

I am so in the same place with Isaiah! And I'm comforted to know that I'm not the only mommy who says, "OK, if you're going to cry about it, you can go to your room." Unfortunately, I don't always enforce that discipline from a heart of love. I sometimes have a superiority complex when I send him there and I think he picks up on it. Man, it is SO hard to get my heart back in the right place for when he comes out like nothing happened! It does help when I require him to apologize. That way, I feel like he acknowledged what he did and I can forgive him. When he comes out and acts like nothing happened, I get SO ANGRY with him and I tend to hold it against him in my heart for the rest of the day. I'm in your boat, sister! I love you!