Saturday, February 13, 2010

Quietness and Confidence Forever

So, I am doing this Beth Moore study, Breaking Free. Naively, I said, "I don't need to break free from anything." God laughed and said, "Oh, dear daughter, you have much to break free from."

As I study the scriptures of Isaiah, I find God speaking directly to my soul. I realized this week that I don't let God satisfy me. Even when God pours out his love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace, I look around me and long for something in this world to satisfy me. I want a better house - I am embarrassed to have friends over who live in these immaculate places. I want to be skinnier or prettier. I want to be able to go to the store and buy whatever I want. And I actually think those things will make me happier. I know this is ridiculous, and I am sure as you read this you are saying, "That is ridiculous. We all know those things don't bring happiness." I am here to say I know that, but the reality is that I have yet to let God completely satisfy me.

As I was going through my study, The Rolling Stones song kept running through my head, "I can't get no satisfaction..." Of course, I am not referring to what Mick Jagger was singing about...my lack of satisfaction comes from a stubborn heart that keeps telling God that He is not capable of bringing me satisfaction.

The crazy thing is that I HAVE experienced this complete satisfaction; very recently. Even in the depths of the hard times early in the adoption, God was there! He was holding me together and His presence was so obvious. I was reading the Bible hourly and then praying minute by minute. And I felt Him and was satisfied.

There is a connection there; I was in the Word, I was praying constantly. Friends, it is so easy to fall away from that routine! When life was hard, I leaned on God and He was there. Things start getting easier, and the days go by without cracking open the Word...the result? A short tempered, jealous, depressed woman.

Beth Moore writes, "souls accustomed to food are more likely to have a highly developed appetite. The more we've been satisfied by God's love, his Word and His presence, the more our souls will yearn for it." Our souls growl and moan, just like a stomach does when it's not being fed. My soul has been growling at me for a while! I have experienced a time like no other in my life where God completely satisfied me through His Word. I tasted it.

There is no time that I don't need to be in God's Word or in His presence. No time!

So, I turn to Isaiah once more: Isaiah 32:17 - 18 says, "The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." This is my prayer today. Righteousness. Righteousness that leads to quietness and confidence forever. To live peacefully, securely and in rest. The Message puts it this way, "Right will build a home in the fertile field. And where there's Right, there'll be Peace; and the progeny of Peace: quiet lives and endless trust. My people will live in a peaceful neighborhood - in safe houses, in quiet gardens."

There is that word again: TRUST. To live quiet lives and endless trust. Endless. Forever trusting, forever letting God satisfy my every need and desire.

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