Friday, February 12, 2010

Prophetic Words

I read the letter over and over again. How could a man have spoken such words of prophesy over me this time last year? I read those words and sit here stunned. I know I was moved when he wrote the letter last year, but how these words minister to me now!

He was so correct - I can only love my children through an overflow of God's love poured into my life. When I try to do this parenting thing on my own - even my bio kids - I fail miserably each time. I discourage, I judge, I am unfair. When I am surrendered to God, admitting that I have nothing more to give, He is faithful to step in and pour out his love. I encourage, I lift up and I am fair.

It's all about love. I know this. This has been my story for the past year. I was wounded deeper than I even imagined I could be wounded when I was totally rejected by George. I couldn't even begin to fathom that this boy would turn his back on a mom wanting to love him. That wounding took me straight to my knees and I discovered a God who cared for me.

God knew George would reject me. Yet He called me to this in order that I learn more about HIM! I learned how often I reject God and yet how patiently and perfectly He loves me. The only way I have made it through this year is because God called me to this adoption, and despite the trials and the weariness, I know this to be true. He has given me what I need; He sustains me and gets me through the days.

My parenting is being so refined. My words are being examined. My heart is being challenged. And my life is being changed and I pray that the result will be a more beautiful me.

I can not see the ripple effects of our decision; not yet. Although, I do see my children being refined right along with me. I also see my husband in a totally new light; he has become my hero. So, maybe there are effects that I just over look.

I am counting on the generational blessings! I am praying that my children and my grandchildren have a great love for the Lord and are blessed greatly.

No more complaining. No more whining. God has been using a study I am doing to speak to me. This is I Chronicles 29:11 "(Traci), do not be negligent now, for the Lord has chosen you to stand before him and serve him, to minister before him and burn incense." The Message says, "this is your life's work; make sure you do it and do it well!"

Yes, Lord! This IS my life's work. Being a Momma is my life's work; investing in these children's lives, serving them, teaching them, loving them. It is imperative that I do not be negligent! This means being in God's word daily and being in constant prayer with Him. Friends, I confess to you here that I HAVE been negligent lately, in too many ways. God has chosen this life for me and I must be armed and prepared; daily ready for the fiery arrows of the enemy. The aroma of my parenting and loving my family is a fragrant offering to God; loving His children is ministering. It is time that I do it and do it well.

It's a new day - the day is crisp and cold, bright blue sky with a fresh blanket of snow sparkling in the sunshine. I saw the most amazing rainbow this morning, and God let me drive right through it! Have you ever driven through a rainbow? And it was one of those weird weather phenomena - a winter rainbow caused by microscopic snow particles hanging in the air. Amazing and beautiful and breath taking. And as I drove through it, God whispered in my ear, "Daughter, I love you. I know life is hard right now, but I am here and I am doing a work in your life. Let me complete my work."

So, on this new day, I surrender all and TRUST in my loving Lord.

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