Sunday, December 27, 2009

All's Quiet

All is quiet....all the presents have been opened...all the treats have been eaten...all the programs have been sung....and the season is over. This was George's first Christmas and tonight I am overwhelmed with just how far we have come. Leading up to Christmas, we had some very tough days. George got upset over things like decorating Christmas cookies, wrapping presents and even getting Christmas cards from friends. These are all things that I would have never expected a problem over. But, all these things represented something so completely foreign to George and he reacted out of fear more than anything.

But as I sit here in a very quiet house, the candles in the windows lit and the tree still glowing, I couldn't be more content with where we are. I have five children snug in their beds, a husband sleeping away as well, and a very large puppy at my feet contentedly asleep. There is a hush. And for the first time since April, I am sure.

Adopting George was the best thing we could have ever done.

This morning, Joe and I went on one of our prayer walks. We bundled up and hit the snow covered streets as the plows had not worked on our streets yet. The clouds have cleared and it was so good to see the sun. We walked and we prayed and we felt that Jesus was, yet again, right there with us on our walk. We simply talked to him. Joe admitted that we chose this very difficult road that we find ourselves on...but he then begged God to keep us there. I almost gasped, but continued to listen as Joe poured out his heart about how this path is one that is refining us, our whole family. If we really are who we say we are, we want to hear at the end of our days, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

We have realized over the past year that we take the chance of not hearing that if we stay stagnant, comfortable, taking the easy path. So, quite a while ago, we both prayed that God would change us from the inside. It's funny how when you are in the middle of that work of change, you don't really realize it is God sanctifying usually isn't until a little time after that you go, "Duh! I asked God to work in my life!" So....God asked Joe and I to make some pretty major changes this past year, one of those being George.

I remember this time last year, crying during Christmas Eve service thinking about my boy who has half way around the world. We had just been assigned our court date and it was starting to feel "real". I wondered what he was doing for Christmas, if there was someone tucking him into bed each night and what he would be eating Christmas morning. This Christmas Eve, I cried. But that's a no-brainer!! But this time it was because sitting down the row from me was George dancing away to the last song of the service. He was smiling ear to ear, drumming along with the beat and doing his "Georgie dance". People all around us were smiling and enjoying the celebration with George. It was precious.

This Christmas I learned there was no one to tuck George into bed each night, he didn't celebrate Christmas at all, and there was nothing special to eat that morning. Life was very different to say the least.

Now, George is safe and sound in his bed, sharing a room with his little brother whom he loves dearly. They both fell asleep looking at a safari night-light from Grammy and the last thing George said to me tonight was, "I see those animals in Africa! But George safe now."

Yes, we are on a tough path, but I have realized what joy there is in doing the hard things! I sit here tonight and think about how different OUR Christmas would have been this year without George. It would have involved the same old same old, I am sure of that. We would have sat through sermons about making this a "different kind of Christmas", but I seriously doubt if it would have been much different from any other year. This year, it IS different. Everything is different. And I am there.

1 comment:

Rbarrow said...

I am so happy for you Traci! Really!