Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Manipulation Continues - Warning - Another VENT

I really don't like doing this...going from a really positive post to another downer. But, I guess this is the nature of our adoption - constantly up and then down.

We had a good day yesterday..although George came home from school and showed me a little worn out spot on the sole of his shoes. He stands at my side and begs, yes begs, for new shoes. When I say we can't get new shoes today, he storms over to the trash can and threatens to throw his shoes in the trash. I told him he couldn't do that. He then say she wants to wear flip-flops. I tell him it's 38 degrees outside, and no, you can't wear flip-flops.

So, he's mad at me.

He must have stayed mad about that all evening. When it was time for bed, after a late night of being at Awana, I simply say to all the kids, "Time for bed." They all go into their rooms, get on their pajamas, realizing how tired they are and hop into bed. Except George.

George is furious, cries, whines and pouts..the full nine-yards.

As he is getting his pjs on, I try to help him.

"I do it myself. No help from Momma."

OK - that's fine..nothing too unusual there.

"Alright. Hop into bed, you've got school tomorrow and you need your sleep."

"No hug for Momma. I like Daddy, not Momma."

Oh, you've got to be kidding me! I hug and kiss Lincoln and say goodnight. Joe comes in and I tell him what George said and Joe responds by saying, "OK, no hug from Daddy either." And we both walk out.

Cold hearted? We are both so tired of this manipulation game! I PARENT him (tell him we can't afford new shoes, his shoes are actually fine, it's time for bed, etc.) and he doesn't like what I am telling him so he decided he will tell me he doesn't like me. He goes to Dad, then, for his hugs and affection and needs. And up until last night, we gave in to that.

I asked Joe, what if Harry said that? We tell him it's time for bed and he shouts out, "Fine. No hug for you, Mom." Over going to bed? I could understand if I would have pulled out his toenails or something like that, but all I did was tell him it was time for bed! Right now, he has this control over us...do we dare parent him like we do the other kids with certain expectations of how they treat us? Or do we continue to say, "Oh, he's had a hard life and so he can treat his mother like crap?" When does that excuse stop being valid?

I am tired of the manipulation. I need it to stop.

What I see now is another example of the fight that takes place over ONE SOUL! I am to love and be Christ to George - and see Christ IN George. The enemy wants nothing more than for me to give up.

Pray for me, if you think of me. This battle is getting old and I am just ready for a boy who maybe stops treating him Momma as if she were the enemy. I know all the psycho-babble, post-adoption mumbo-jumbo. I don't want to hear it. I just want an end to this cycle.

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