Sunday, August 23, 2009

A Good Weekend

I am happy to report tonight that we made it through a weekend without a major slipping back! Praise God!!! I think this is the first weekend in two months that we have made it through in happy spirits.

As we keep plugging away, I am still amazed at my struggle to love George. I have had to admit to myself and confess to God that I react harsher toward George, I tend to not give him the benefit of the doubt, and I am reluctant to hug and kiss him more than the other four. I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit these things...still.

I am patiently waiting for the love to come. To be honest, it feels as if it is starting to come, and that is good news for being only 4 months into the adoption. I just never thought it would take even this long!

The sermon today (and next week) are focusing on love...loving God and loving others. You know, the two greatest commandments according to Jesus, so we better pay attention to them, don't you think? Stuart Briscoe preached today and he said something that struck me...loving God is my joyful obedience in response to the knowledge of what he has done for me.

Joyful obedience....what exactly does that mean? Do not conform to the world, but be transformed. How? I feel like I am learning a small bit about this through loving George. I am commanded to love George, and in doing so, I love God. He loves George passionately...so much that he sent His son to die for George. I am to love him because he has no other mommy to love him. Loving George is my act of obedience right now...when I fail to love George, I fail to truly respond to the immense love to God toward me! How dare I do that?

I find it impossible to love George without being totally loved and in-love with God. I don't see how some can do this without God! My life is all about love these days; how much I needed to learn about love, seeing how deep and vast God's love is, and feeling how His love can sustain me in my weakest hour.

I am thankful that God is love.

2 comments:

Brooke said...

I also loved that Stuart said we love God just because of Who He Is!! That's reason enough! So true, and another great lesson for all of us here on earth who are learning what it means to love the unloveable.

Katy said...

Just want you to know that I continue to pray for you. And Continue to be inspired by your faith and your faithfulness.
Katy