Thursday, August 20, 2009

Crash - Part II

There was another crash last night...this time it was a buna pot. Joe and I bought several traditional Ethiopian coffee pots while we were in Africa. It was the one thing I wanted to keep as a souvenir. I don't know why, I just really loved the look of those pots and I love coffee.

Well, two broke on the way home. Just shattered inside my luggage as I guess I didn't wrap them up quite enough. I think I cried about it. In that same suitcase were several handmade crosses, that we wanted to give away as gifts. We picked out one for our home and then made sure we had enough to give to friends. Four crosses broke. We gave ours away. All I had left was this buna pot that I placed in my kitchen.

No one heard the crash...Joe and I were upstairs lying on our bed talking, all the kids were in the living room watching Busy Town (remember that show? Even my 12 year old is loving watching that again). George popped up for a quick visit (he still doesn't like watching TV too much) and Joe said that he needed to make a phone call. George, in excitement yelled, "Georgie get phone!", and he raced down the stairs toward the kitchen to retrieve the phone.

Then, I noticed George coming up the stairs very slowly, and he did not have the phone in his hand. He was crawling up to the bed and was shaking a bit. I had just told Joe about some discipline that had taken place earlier that day involving George, and Joe decided to just say a simple word to George about that. But, George just laid on the floor, head down into the carpet and whispered, "Mommy no hit George."

We were stunned! Joe laughed and said, "Son, Mommy never hits George. Daddy is the one who gives the spankings." We just couldn't understand why he said that. Then George was trying to explain something, he said words like, "coffee, phone, fall,sorry", but we still couldn't understand what was going on. I finally said, "George, show Mommy." And he took my hand and led me down the stairs. He froze at the bottom of the stairs and then my eye went to the kitchen. There it was, my buna pot in about 25 pieces on the floor. I gasped a bit, at the surprise of seeing my last memento from my trip to Africa shattered. And George began sobbing. He fell into the arms of Joe who was sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

George felt so bad. This wasn't the forced remorse we often place on our children, "Now, you say you're sorry!". This was true and genuine sadness. We both assured George that we were not mad at all. I called George to come to me and as I held him I told him the pot was just a thing, and it didn't matter at all. I knew it was an accident and I was not angry with George. We asked if he understood and he nodded his head and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

I felt so bad about George thinking that he would be hit for this. I know that Ethiopian culture can get pretty violent toward their children when they reach a certain age. It is as if they let the children get away with anything and everything and then suddenly come down like a hammer! It is so unfair for those kids. George probably had experienced getting hit for something innocent like breaking something accidentally. I know he also tries to hide his pajamas in the morning when his Pull-Up leaks (or more accurately overflows - sorry). He is so afraid that he will get in trouble for...well...just being a kid.

We are getting there - I know I keep saying that and I am not sure exactly where "there" is. I can't tell you how much my heart has changed over the past few months. Surgery was done, open heart surgery that was painful. But, it is healing now and I am ready to love my son. And I am here to tell you that this can ONLY be done by letting God's love overflow into me and then through me...all of this is about God's love! What an amazing love it is.

1 comment:

angie said...

You know I read your story about Crash II and of course it made sit at my computer and cry like a baby....but just think, you still have the best keepsake from your travels to Ethiopia - George! Like you said, the crosses, the coffee pots, etc are just stuff and you have this wonderful little boy that you are going shape into such a strong, god-driven man.