Monday, April 6, 2009

Little Plaid Shirt in the Closet

It has been a bit hectic around here the last few weeks. Not only are we getting ready to go to Africa and add a son to our family, we also put our house up for sale in the hopes of moving into something a little bigger. When I look back, I think, "why not?". I realized I have made major moves three times in my life. And all three times, I have been pregnant! And since I totally feel pregnant now, why not add a move to make it feel like old times?

Anyway, I am sure this is how God shows me how much He is in control - and obviously, I have needed to learn this lesson over and over again. I have learned to sit back and wait...God WILL make His way known. I could get into a discussion about God's perfect will vs. His permissive will, but not really in the mood for that tonight.

I am in the mood to tell you about how my heart skipped a beat today. I was doing my regular running around getting the house ready for a showing when I needed to throw something into the hamper that is in Harry's closet. First thought that slammed into my mind was, "This is now the boys' room. This in no longer just Harry's room. George will be here soon!" I have a great set of bunk beds staring me in the face every time I walk past that room, and Joe found this really cool blue shag run that I just love (he has such style!).

But, what made me catch my breath a bit, and brought a huge smile to my face was when I opened up the closet door and saw this little orange plaid shirt on a hanger. That is George's shirt. This is his home.

That shirt hanging there, in one instant represented this entire journey. He is now part of our home...he has possessions here in this house. No one else can say that is their shirt. It is waiting for George and only George.

I had waited until this past week to put out clothes and set up beds. I refused to let myself get too caught up in the emotion of it all. I have been scared of it all just disappearing, suddenly finding out none of this was real. But, over the last few days, my mommy instincts are firing up into high gear. I find myself "nesting", which I never thought would happen with an adoption. I find myself actually letting myself say his name, out loud, as if he was already part of our family. I now say, "he IS our son," and not "he will be our son".

Isn't that crazy? I have a son, half way around the world. He has been moved from the orphanage that has been home for the past 13 months, into the crazy world of 3 million people in Addis. He knows we are coming...and he is waiting. What will he do when he sees me? Will he shyly walk toward Joe and I? Will he wear that amazing smile and the ever-popular dimple? Will he know I am his momma? Will he know how many nights I have not slept at all because I was praying for his safety and his protection? Will he know that I have let him into my heart? Will he know how much I love him already?

I see that shirt, dangling from a hanger that is too big for the shirt and I chuckle. I have a son, waiting to come home. Hang on, George. We're on our way!

1 comment:

Margaret said...

So sweet...isnt it the best feeling in the world? I remember that feeling when we were bringing our son home from S. Korea. Packing his clothes, putting his room together, buying boy toys for him...what a great feeling!! :)